keeping cool

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and I’m not talking about turning on the AC! 🙂

{I know it’s been a while since I said, Hi! I trust and pray anyone still visiting is doing well!}

Sometimes, I feel like Anne Shirley: “if only you knew all I wanted to say and didn’t maybe you’d give me little credit.” { 🙂 }

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What did you say!?

But there are seriously times I know the only way I can remain quiet is because the Lord puts a stopper on my tongue. But that does not mean my “cool” is under control!

…that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;  but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things… Ephesians 4:14,15

We must always speak the truth! but this verse also tells us to speak “in love.”

This is a wonderful principle to hold fast to, as I have found that when the truth is spoken in haste, without love, it does so much more damage then not speaking at all. This seems to hold true in all situations.

When correcting my children it is necessary, on many occasions, for me to take a moment and find that love from Christ before speaking. Otherwise I will speak words I should not or with a tone that is not appropriate.

I will not grow into Him in all things if I speak harshly.

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When telling others of Jesus’ love for them, I cannot get huffy or defensive when I am attacked-and truly, it is not ME they are attacking or questioning. It is Jesus Himself. This ought to invoke our pity, not our wrath. I will be as a child, tossed and carried about by the devil’s craftiness, if I get defensive and prickly about another questioning the gospel.

Have you ever been corrected? Who hasn’t??!! Even now, as a “mature” adult person [ 😉 ] when another points out a fault or wrongdoing, my reaction [which is always my own responsibility! {Romans 14:12}] is greatly based on their attitude. That’s not exactly the way it’s supposed to be…

If I am approached in love, I will be less likely to respond childishly.

If I do not perceive a loving spirit {KEY: they must realize you are speaking in love!}, I often do respond in a less mature manner [read: get defensive and prickly].

How much MORE defensive do you think an unsaved person or immature Christian would be if we do not approach them in love?

This truth is also relevant when people say unkind or untrue things about us or our family! When we find out, do we respond with the truth IN LOVE? or do we lash out in defensive anger?

Being upset about lies is not wrong. Being sad about unkindness is not wrong.

But we must respond IN LOVE when speaking the truth to combat the unkindness or untruth!

So, when I realize that I cannot respond in love, I often {should be ALWAYS!} simply do not say anything at all.

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Our children learn how to initiate and respond from watching us. Whether we are interacting with our spouse, one of their siblings or an adult friend, they see and comprehend so much more than we think.Let us “KEEP our COOL” and ask the Lord to:

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3,

because …there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Psalm 139:4.

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is my help destructive?

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As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children, from all evil and harm; and that is part of a parent’s responsibility.

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children– teaching manners, kindness, and self-control, with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].C.mommy

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child–{it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that’s another post}.

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren’t we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong, and need correction– at school or a friend’s house, even in children’s church.

image from google seasrch

image from google seasrch

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority over and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders; and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions, and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences—

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

[We are each responsible for our own actions.]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.

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[There will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge.]

—then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong, and may live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point:

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves, and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance ….before a lesson is learned

is DESTRUCTIVE.

and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

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answering {simple} questions .2

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answering {simple} questions .2

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  
can you truly answer a child’s questions regarding salvation. 
Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

 

3. Why does a person need to be saved?
4. What is sin?
and
5. How old does a person have to be to get saved?
How can I understand, Mom?
The Bible tells us that every person has sin in his heart. We also learn from studying God’s Word that God cannot have sin in heaven, and if we keep sin in our heart He cannot hear our prayers [except for the prayer of salvation] or allow us into Heaven to be with Him.  We have to ask Jesus to wash away the sin in our heart to have God take us to heaven.
Simply put, sin is breaking God’s Law. Another simple explanation of sin is “anything that I may think, say, or do that does not please God.” some examples are: lying, hitting, disobeying, thinking mean thoughts. {Be specific when dealing with your own children. Give examples of things you know they have done that are sin.}
If you know the difference between right and wrong and you understand that there are consequences to doing wrong, then you are old enough to be saved. There is no specific age that God says, “You cannot be saved before you are xxx years old.” But neither is there an age that God says, “All people are old enough after they are xxx years old.”  {If your child is asking these questions, it is possible that they are indeed ready to make the decision to ask Jesus to save them. But this is an area where parents must ask God for wisdom in guiding each individual child.}

some Scripture reading: [again] John 3; 14:6; 
Romans 3:23; 5:6-21

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{teaching} with evidence

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When children see evidence of God’s importance in Daddy’s and Mommy’s lives  and are trained to also be involved, it becomes a part of their lives. 
There is a marked difference in the attitudes of children towards authority between those who are taught that God is Important and those who are left to figure things out on their own [Proverbs 28:26; 29:15]. 

Children must be continually exposed to God and His Word and His Love and commands in order for them to become a part of their lives. 
If God is important to us as parents it will be evident to our children when they are in Sunday School every week and when we read the Bible [even just a verse and explain it] with them each day and when we pray for the difficulties we face and when we praise Him for all things. It will be evident when we participate in the ministries of our church or go out of our way to be helpful to those in need.

Children with parents who are passionate about “being green” learn how to recycle and repurpose, because their parents DO it. Those whose parents are avid about “organic food” will learn about the nutritional value of different foods and the negative effects of pesticides and processing, etc because their parents are DOing something. Those who are fervent in their quest of an organized home & life teach their children the importance of everything having its own home and putting it there by always having them put things away as well as DOing it themselves.

In the same manner, parents who are are dedicated lovers of God WILL teach their children who God is. We will prove that He is our Creator and that He is to be revered and praised and worshiped and served with our whole life. with our actions.

some {simple} questions

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1. What does it mean to be saved?

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

3. Why does a person need to be saved?

4. How old does a person need to be to be saved?

5. How does being saved take your sins away?

one prayer is for them to always be able to hold each others hands…

6. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus to come into their heart?

Have you ever wondered any of these questions when thinking of and praying for your children? Have your children ever asked you something along these lines?
Teaching children spiritual truths is a daunting challenge. It causes my very being to go weak with the awesomeness of the responsibility. that God gave to ME and MY HUSBAND [and YOU and YOUR HUSBAND].

this one reminds me that one day they will not have my hand…
and I need to be sure they know how to hold His!

The next few weeks Tips for Training Children will take on a spiritual note. We will start at the beginning [and see God] and then look at these questions in the light of the Word of God. If we cannot answer or teach our children from the Bible, the foundation of their faith will not be true and accurate and will one day crumble.

until Thursday…