tascha

doing right verses having rights

by tascha | 2 comments

Sometimes, the difference between having rights and doing right is a wavy, blurry line.

this is not about gun control! {but aren’t they cute?}

I have many privileges as an American.

I have vast amounts of opportunities when I am willing to work and sacrifice.

And I have all the ability I need to DO right, because Jesus is [or should be] my strength.

But this “my rights’ attitude” [me time, anyone?] that I have, on occasion, been sucked into is not Biblical.

For one thing, it is putting the focus on ME. I’ved studied through a little of that before. [This is not to say we do not ever need rest or an occasional break. But there is a “me mentality” that comes from thinking only of me and what *I* need/want. And that is what I am talking about being caught up in.]

And if, as a wife and mother, I am overwhelmed by certain tasks or expectations, then that is my cue to step back and take a few evaluations of myself and my motives.

I must evaluate my motive for doing this overwhelming task and determine who exactly set the expectation.

The only true, pure Biblical motive is to do all to the glory of God [I Corinthians 10:31].

let her rest while she will…

The Lord sets expectations of what He requires from us; but He also ALWAYS gives us the strength to meet them. {-because God gets glory when His strength is magnified through our weakness: 2 Corinthians 12:6-10-}

Evaluating my motive is often a soul-searching, prayerful endeavor.

Because our hearts are deceitful [Jeremiah 17:9].

We will lie to ourselves when not careful to ask the Lord to shed His light on our motives, because sometimes we try to do things {even GOOD things} for the wrong reason.

And sometimes we let others put expectations on us that are not from Him.

So, if my motive is pure and the expectations set are from the Lord, why may I feel as though there is not sufficient strength?

This is where I often get convicted, because there are so very many times that I KNOW I am doing what I ought. But the strength is not there.

When there is not enough strength to get through the day or the project or whatever, I realize that I really am doing this “good thing” all by myself. I have once again taken the reins into my own hands... plucked them from my Father, who expertly handles them while I falter and stumble through.

So, while I have many “rights” as an American and I even have much freedom as a Christian, when I get into the mindset of “having a right” for something or to do something, I forfeit the strength that comes from following the path God has set for my day, because God will not give me His strength to follow my own path.

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a new blog!

by tascha

Today you can find me over here:

a new blog for moms!

Stop by and let everyone know you were there by leaving a comment saying HI!

And I have a couple of posts in the works for my “home blog” too!

thoughts on singleness

by tascha

thoughts on singleness

I had a conversation recently with an unmarried lady friend. She has a growing ministry with small children and visions for that ministry to thrive! I appreciate her zeal, and her love for God is evident.

Yet, she told me that she receives comments regularly from people about her unmarried status. I assume these are well-meaning people, as they seem to think the singleness she finds herself in somehow prohibits her from having a full, vibrant life and ministry.

Let me tell you, my unmarried friend, your life can be as full as you let it be – whether you are married or not! [I have knowledge of more than my share of people who are married yet have neither a full life nor a vibrant ministry for God!]

Singleness lends itself to a bit of freedom that those married, especially with children, do not have. I married right out of college. I do not have experience of the trials or temptations that come with serving the Lord as an adult while still single, but I have witnessed those who do it well as well as those who do it poorly.

In light of that, all ministries are simply an opportunity to serve God. And when we allow Him, He puts us in place to have certain ministries. No where does He tell us that ministry is only for married people. Actually, Paul was given liberty to tell us that if you are content to be single, then that can actually give you opportunities that would otherwise be a closed door [I Corinthians 7:1-9].

Serving God is a command to all Christians: single, married, divorced, child or adult. [Matthew 20:26-28; 28:19-21; Mark 16:15-16; I Timothy 4 {especially verse 6 and 10-12} and many more]. Telling someone their ministry cannot be full for whatever reason {unless pointing out an error in love: Ephesians 5:6-11} is not helpful or Christ-honoring.

As married ladies and mothers, we should pray for those in singleness-that they would be content in Christ. Pray that the Lord would protect them from temptations or “evil” appearances. We should befriend them, on a personal level, so they realize and understand our genuine concern for them as people! When we see evidence of genuine service to God and growth in His word, we should even point them out {but NOT elevate} to our children as an adult to trust and point out areas of their life that they should emulate {such as a humble, teachable spirit or a willing, helpful attitude} and show our children that life is not all about growing up and having a family. Life is all about learning how to SERVE JESUS!

And to my single friends, remember that you are part of the body that is the bride of Christ! You have his love to comfort and protect. You have His peace to be your companion and guide. You have His wisdom to direct your steps and His tender mercies to correct you when needed. [There are MANY Psalms as well as other passages that speak of God’s comfort and protection and peace and guidance and tender mercies! These for for ALL Christians, not just married people.] Never let anyone’s personal opinions on your marital status allow you to believe that anything you are doing for God is somehow less valuable than what us married folks are doing!

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{While I am a married lady and my main reason for starting this blog was to encourage other married ladies and mothers, I would not say that this blog is only for married ladies. While many of my posts have examples from married life or from being a mother, the premise for designing31 is not just for married ladies!! We were all created and designed to work together towards reaching others for Christ. While my personal goal is to become the wife and mother God wants me to be, I also want to learn to be the lady and friend God desires me to be too!}

I had a conversation recently with an unmarried lady friend. She has a growing ministry with small children and visions for that ministry to thrive! I appreciate her zeal, and her love for God is evident.

Yet, she told me that she receives comments regularly from people about her unmarried status. I assume these are well-meaning people, as they seem to think the singleness she finds herself in somehow prohibits her from having a full, vibrant life and ministry.

Let me tell you, my unmarried friend, your life can be as full as you let it be – whether you are married or not! [I have knowledge of more than my share of people who are married yet have neither a full life nor a vibrant ministry for God!]

Singleness lends itself to a bit of freedom that those married, especially with children, do not have. I married right out of college. I do not have experience of the trials or temptations that come with serving the Lord as an adult while still single, but I have witnessed those who do it well as well as those who do it poorly.

In light of that, all ministries are simply an opportunity to serve God. And when we allow Him, He puts us in place to have certain ministries. No where does He tell us that ministry is only for married people. Actually, Paul was given liberty to tell us that if you are content to be single, then that can actually give you opportunities that would otherwise be a closed door [I Corinthians 7:1-9].

Serving God is a command to all Christians: single, married, divorced, child or adult. [Matthew 20:26-28; 28:19-21; Mark 16:15-16; I Timothy 4 {especially verse 6 and 10-12} and many more]. Telling someone their ministry cannot be full for whatever reason {unless pointing out an error in love: Ephesians 5:6-11} is not helpful or Christ-honoring.

As married ladies and mothers, we should pray for those in singleness-that they would be content in Christ. Pray that the Lord would protect them from temptations or “evil” appearances. We should befriend them, on a personal level, so they realize and understand our genuine concern for them as people! When we see evidence of genuine service to God and growth in His word, we should even point them out {but NOT elevate} to our children as an adult to trust and point out areas of their life that they should emulate {such as a humble, teachable spirit or a willing, helpful attitude} and show our children that life is not all about growing up and having a family. Life is all about learning how to SERVE JESUS!

And to my single friends, remember that you are part of the body that is the bride of Christ! You have his love to comfort and protect. You have His peace to be your companion and guide. You have His wisdom to direct your steps and His tender mercies to correct you when needed. [There are MANY Psalms as well as other passages that speak of God’s comfort and protection and peace and guidance and tender mercies! These for for ALL Christians, not just married people.] Never let anyone’s personal opinions on your marital status allow you to believe that anything you are doing for God is somehow less valuable than what us married folks are doing!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

{While I am a married lady and my main reason for starting this blog was to encourage other married ladies and mothers, I would not say that this blog is only for married ladies. While many of my posts have examples from married life or from being a mother, the premise for designing31 is not just for married ladies!! We were all created and designed to work together towards reaching others for Christ. While my personal goal is to become the wife and mother God wants me to be, I also want to learn to be the lady and friend God desires me to be too!}

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on chicken sandwiches, free speech, and Christianity

by tascha

on chicken sandwiches, free speech, and Christianity

Understanding and realizing the reasoning behind this past Wednesday’s Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day, I have a few thoughts weighing on my heart. My husband guest posted yesterday about it from a slightly different angle.

making you hungry? me too

But today my thoughts are centered around the “christian culture” I grew up in. The one that says: if you do this you must be a good person and if you do THAT you can’t possibly be used by God. Now, to disclaim here, not everyone I grew up around had that attitude! But my entire family were babes in Christ when I was a small child, so my parents learned what was accepted in the church who reached them. They embraced and studied the Bible, but were also influenced by this philosophy. Today, they are different people.

They are different and so am I because the Christian life is NOT a list of rules. It is not “do’s and don’t’s.” But all life IS a daily struggle against sin. And having rules and guidelines can help us stay in line (indeed, they are necessary for teaching and learning), but “living by the rules” is not the goal. And that is where so many get off track.

I did not go to Chik-fil-a on the “Appreciation Day” -partly because I did not have 2 hours to wait in line with 4 children and partly because I did not have $20+ in my budget to buy their food (no matter how much I like it!). But as I watched the facebook statuses and pictures from my friends who did go grow in number, I got to wondering if it was all really such a good idea. It was almost as if people got the idea that getting a meal from that particular restaurant on that particular day meant something to the lost world out there- like seeing those lines around the buildings told them something important. Because it didn’t.

When Christian values are attacked, it is no longer just a matter of “free speech” or the definition of marriage. It becomes a matter of showing the Love of Christ.

Yes, our freedoms are in jeopardy. The sanctity of marriage, the symbol of Christ’s love for His church, is being marred by sinners. But it is because we are ALL sinners.

I do not personally know many people who claim the gay lifestyle, but I do know some. I am even related to some (gasp)– and I can’t change them.

shocker: They cannot change themselves! No one is born a homosexual (a sodomite), in that it is a pre-disposed condition. It is not an illness. It is not “who they are.” It is a sin. [Mathew 19:4-6; Romans 1:20-32; I Corinthians 6:9-1; I Timothy 1:5-11 {and Jude 4-7 tells us in this Age of Grace we still can look to Sodom Gomorha as an example of wickedness and God’s judgment of it}]. But you see, Satan has duped them into thinking it is what will make them happy. Because–“for a season”–it does. [Hebrews 11:24-30]

The only way anyone can change from that thinking or alter those desires is with the help of the Almighty God who made them, the only one who loves them with a love so pure He DIED for their freedom.

And the only way most of them will know of His love is if they SEE it in a Christian (you and me).

Many, strikingly many, who live a life of sodomy KNOW of Jesus. They have been preached AT- both before and after making their “preferences” known. But preaching AT someone does not show love.

Eating a chicken sandwich on August 1 did nothing to tell anyone that Jesus loves them. There was likely no one there to witness to. I am quite sure most anyone asked would have said they are a Christian. That’s why they were supporting a company whose founder has Biblical moral principles and is not ashamed to say so.

So, while I will eat at Chik-fil-a on occasion, when my pocketbook allows (I can make a good chicken sandwich right at home!), more than anything else, I need to remember to pray for those lost souls. I need to spend time weeping over them before the one who loves them so purely. I need to LIVE my life to SHOW them that pure love that ONLY He can pour through me. Yes, what they do is wrong. Yes, we must give the gospel-to any who will listen and even when unsolicited. But just telling people of any lifestyle that what they are doing is wrong and telling them Jesus died to take their sins away does NOTHING until they realize they are missing something.

Why would a happy male “couple” listen to a man tell them they a living wickedly when just yesterday he was mad at his wife and listing the ills of his married life? Why would a female couple want to have what YOU have with your husband? If you are constantly despondent over this or that or belittling your husband for not taking out the garbage (or whatever), I would’t want what you had either.

Some people are searching for God, and are ready and willing to repent when confronted with the gospel. And I rejoice and praise the Lord when those times occur! But most are not there. And if they do not see a difference (as in A BETTER WAY) in the manner in which WE live, why would they even care that we want to share it with them?

“freedom of speech” actually requires speaking…

Oh! that Christians would be as fired up about attending and supporting their local churches as they were about supporting a company who has a moral stance.

Oh! that we would be as ready to share the gospel of Jesus with LOVE FLOWING so that it is evident as we are to eat a chicken sandwich in the name of “free speech.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Be sure to read my husband’s post on the same topic. We have the same view but he approaches it from a slightly different angle.

making you hungry? {me too!}

Understanding and realizing the reasoning behind this past Wednesday’s Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day, I have a few thoughts weighing on my heart. My husband guest posted yesterday about it from a slightly different angle.

But today my thoughts are centered around the “christian culture” I grew up in. The one that says, if you do this you must be a good person and if you do THAT you can’t possibly be used by God. Now, to disclaim here, not everyone I grew up around had that attitude! But my entire family were babes in Christ when I was a small child, so my parents learned what was accepted in the church who reached them. They embraced and studied the Bible, but were also influenced by this philosophy. Today, they are different people.

They are different and so am I because the Christian life is NOT a list of rules. It is not “do’s and don’t’s.” But all life IS a daily struggle against sin. And having rules and guidelines can help us stay in line (indeed, they are necessary for teaching and learning), but “living by the rules” is not the goal. And that is where so many get off track.

I did not go to Chik-fil-a on the “Appreciation Day” -partly because I did not have 2 hours to wait in line with 4 children and partly because I did not have $20+ in my budget to buy their food (no matter how much I like it!) But as I watched the facebook statuses and pictures from my friends who did go grow in number, I got to wondering if it was all really such a good idea. It was almost as if people got the idea that getting a meal from that particular restaurant on that particular day meant something to the lost world out there- like seeing those lines around the buildings told them something important. Because it didn’t.

When Christian values are attacked, it is no longer just a matter of “free speech” or the definition of marriage. It becomes a matter of showing the Love of Christ.

Yes, our freedoms are in jeopardy. The sanctity of marriage, the symbol of Christ’s love for His church, is being marred by sinners. But it is because we are ALL sinners.

I do not personally know many people who claim the gay lifestyle, but I do know some. I am even related to one (gasp)– and I can’t change them.

shocker: They cannot change themselves! No one is born a homosexual (a sodomite). It is not an illness. It is not “who they are.” It is a sin. [Mathew 19:4-6; Romans 1:20-32; I Corinthians 6:9-1; I Timothy 1:5-11 {and Jude 4-7 tells us in this Age of Grace we still can look to Sodom Gomorha as an example of wickedness and God’s judgment of it}] Satan has duped them into thinking it is what will make them happy. Because–“for a season”–it does. [Hebrews 11:24-30]

The only way anyone can change from that thinking is with the help of the Almighty God who made them, the only one who loves them with a love so pure He DIED for their freedom.

And the only way most of them will know of His love is if they SEE it in a Christian (you and me).

Many, strikingly many, who live a life of sodomy KNOW of Jesus. they have been preached at- both before and after making their “preferences” known. But preaching AT someone does not show love.

Eating a chicken sandwich on August 1 did nothing to tell anyone that Jesus loves them. There was likely no one there to witness to. I am quite sure most anyone asked would have said they are a Christian. That’s why they were supporting a company whose founder has Biblical moral principles and is not ashamed to say so.

So, while I will eat at Chik-fil-a on occasion, when my pocketbook allows (I can make a good chicken sandwich right home!), more than anything else, I need to remember to pray for those lost souls. I need to spend time weeping over them before the one who loves them so purely. I need to LIVE my life to SHOW them that pure love that ONLY He can pour through me. Yes, what they do is wrong. Yes, we must give the gospel-to any who will listen and even when unsolicited. But just telling people of any lifestyle that what they are doing is wrong and telling them Jesus died to take their sins away does NOTHING until they realize they are missing something.

Why would a happy male “couple” listen to a man tell them they a living wickedly when just yesterday he was mad at his wife and listing the ills of his married life? Why would a female couple want to have what YOU have with your husband? If you are constantly despondent over this or that or belittling your husband for not taking out the garbage (or whatever), I would’t want what you had either.

Some people are searching for God, and are ready and willing to repent when confronted with the gospel. And I rejoice and praise the Lord when those times occur! But most are not there. And if they do not see a difference (as in A BETTER WAY) in the manner in which WE live, why would they even care that we want to share it with them?

“free speech” requires SPEAKING!

Oh! that Christians would be as fired up about attending and supporting their local churches as they were about supporting a company who has a moral stance.

Oh! that we would be as ready to share the gospel of Jesus with LOVE FLOWING so that it is evident as we are to eat a chicken sandwich in the name of “free speech.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Be sure to read my husband’s post on the same topic. We have the same view but he approaches it from a slightly different angle.

keeping cool

by tascha

and I’m not talking about turning on the AC! 🙂

{I know it’s been a while since I said, Hi! I trust and pray anyone still visiting is doing well!}

Sometimes, I feel like Anne Shirley: “if only you knew all I wanted to say and didn’t maybe you’d give me little credit.” { 🙂 }

What did you say!?

But there are seriously times I know the only way I can remain quiet is because the Lord puts a stopper on my tongue. But that does not mean my “cool” is under control!

…that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things… Ephesians 4:14,15

We must always speak the truth! but this verse also tells us to speak “in love.”

This is a wonderful principle to hold fast to, as I have found that when the truth is spoken in haste, without love, it does so much more damage then not speaking at all. This seems to hold true in all situations.

When correcting my children it is necessary, on many occasions, for me to take a moment and find that love from Christ before speaking. Otherwise I will speak words I should not or with a tone that is not appropriate.

I will not grow into Him in all things if I speak harshly.

When telling others of Jesus’ love for them, I cannot get huffy or defensive when I am attacked-and truly, it is not ME they are attacking or questioning. It is Jesus Himself. This ought to invoke our pity, not our wrath. I will be as a child, tossed and carried about by the devil’s craftiness, if I get defensive and prickly about another questioning the gospel.

Have you ever been corrected? Who hasn’t??!! Even now, as a “mature” adult person [ 😉 ] when another points out a fault or wrongdoing, my reaction [which is always my own responsibility! {Romans 14:12}] is greatly based on their attitude. That’s not exactly the way it’s supposed to be…

If I am approached in love, I will be less likely to respond childishly.

If I do not perceive a loving spirit {KEY: they must realize you are speaking in love!}, I often do respond in a less mature manner [read: get defensive and prickly].

How much MORE defensive do you think an unsaved person or immature Christian would be if we do not approach them in love?

This truth is also relevant when people say unkind or untrue things about us or our family! When we find out, do we respond with the truth IN LOVE? or do we lash out in defensive anger?

Being upset about lies is not wrong. Being sad about unkindness is not wrong.

But we must respond IN LOVE when speaking the truth to combat the unkindness or untruth!

So, when I realize that I cannot respond in love, I often {should be ALWAYS!} simply do not say anything at all.

Our children learn how to initiate and respond from watching us. Whether we are interacting with our spouse, one of their siblings or an adult friend, they see and comprehend so much more than we think.Let us “KEEP our COOL” and ask the Lord to:

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3,

because …there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Psalm 139:4.

just a quick “hello”

by tascha

me and my baby-man…. who turns ***1*** TOMORROW!!!

life has taken a crazy turn the last few months…. and while I have many ideas and thoughts that I would love to turn into posts, time to sit down and formulate coherent thoughts does not last long enough right now [haha] but I am still here!!

… this is a post from the archives that I have been thinking about recently. learning to control my language… and teach my children that same control….

“what did you say?”

please visit and let me know!!

I am not enough

by tascha | 1 comment

I am not enough

As a new mother I was also a young wife (which many new mothers are) and thus I was learning so much in such a short time.

Or, at least I NEEDED to be learning. But I was not. I was barely surviving.

Looking back, I can see this. At the time I thought there was just something seriously wrong with me. I felt as though I was not a good enough person to be a mom. (um, who IS?) and I was not really prepared to be a wife (again, who is?).

Life is a learning process…an adventure in discovery.

And I have discovered that life is messy.

Children can be annoying.

Husbands can be frustrating.

Friends can turn on you.

And this journey, this adventure we call living is not fair.

But that’s OK! If life were fair, we would all have to clean up our own mess (as nice as that sounds, then no one could give you a break!)

and if life were fair, there would be no salvation.

and if life were fair, there would be no Helper, no Peace-giver for us to call Father.

So, I am not enough. This I have learned thoroughly!

but He IS enough.

His help is my potential.

His peace is my strength.

Lean on the Savior, the One Who loves you more than any other. And, while your clothing will still not put itself away and the sink will still pile with dishes and your children will still squabble and need your attention… your heart [and home] will be full of peace [though not necessarily quiet or complete order]. Your life will be filled with the calm and strength and resolve that cannot come from your own will-power.

Your world may fall apart daily, but you will not.

As a new mother I was also a young wife (which many new mothers are) and thus I was learning so much in such a short time.

Or, at least I NEEDED to be learning. But I was not. I was barely surviving.

Looking back, I can see this. At the time I thought there was just something seriously wrong with me. I felt as though I was not a good enough person to be a mom. (um, who IS?) and I was not really prepared to be a wife (again, who is?).

Life is a learning process…an adventure in discovery.

And I have discovered that life is messy.

Children can be annoying.

Husbands can be frustrating.

Friends can turn on you.

And this journey, this adventure we call living is not fair.

But that’s OK! If life were fair, we would all have to clean up our own mess (as nice as that sounds, then no one could give you a break!)

and if life were fair, there would be no salvation.

and if life were fair, there would be no Helper, no Peace-giver for us to call Father.

So, I am not enough. This I have learned thoroughly!

but He IS enough.

His help is my potential.

His peace is my strength.

Lean on the Savior, the One Who loves you more than any other. And, while your clothing will still not put itself away and the sink will still pile with dishes and your children will still squabble and need your attention… your heart [and home] will be full of peace [though not necessarily quiet or complete order]. Your life will be filled with the calm and strength and resolve that cannot come from your own will-power.

Your world may fall apart daily, but you will not.

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the best way to love our children

by tascha

I missed my scheduled posting time last week. But the children and I had great fun visiting my grandparents, whom I have not seen since my oldest child was a few months old! It was so wonderful for them to meet the other 3! It was a rather spur-of-the-moment trip, so I had time to schedule any posts.

my grandparents, my children & myself

I have long heard it proclaimed to men: “The best way to love your children is to love their mommy. and let them KNOW you love their mommy!”

This obvious affection creates stability that children so desperately need.

This idea is rooted in Biblical truths, but for today I am simply relating personal experience.

And I am going to tip the tables and say it backwards: “The best way for ME [mommy] to love my children is to love their daddy. and let them KNOW it!”

I must be INTENTIONAL about my love for him.

I have come to notice that the more I devote my time, attention and even Bible study & prayer to simply loving my husband in the way he feels love [his love language], the nicer I am to my children when they are whiny and the more joy comes to me when doing the mundane–laundry, dishes, etc.

Happy Mommy = Happy home.

So, my goal is to commit my mind to pleasing my children’s father; and whether or not the clothing actually gets put away, our home will be a happier place! [but I’m working on getting the laundry put away!!]

I pray these thoughts are encouraging to someone today!

being part of: