by tascha
Busy day yesterday!
In my Proverbs reading yesterday the verses that really stuck out were the first few: When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: and out a knife to thy throat if thou be a man given to appetite… [verses 1 & 2]
In context, the verses go on to speak about not being envious of what others, particularly those with more, have that I do not. And I have often heard contentment when I read this passage.
But today, I saw something a little different… though in relation to contentment.
I saw self-control… or temperance.
We must have control over our appetite. Here it speaks directly of food, but we all have appetites for many things: food, books, friends, travel, money… it is all just stuff.
I have a less consuming desire for “stuff” when I am desiring the Spirit’s control.
And here my thoughts traveled….
Temperance is a part of the Fruit that the Spirit produces our lives when we allow Him to work. [Galatians 5:22,23]
And I must exercise {allow God’s Spirit to teach me!} control in my life in areas and situations that cause tension or stress. {from appetite control… hm}
Many times as a mother… my children bring tension {stress} through myriad of situations. Maybe I am in a hurry because of a lack of proper planning, and they are just pokin’ along. That brings some stress! Or one of them has a melt-down for whatever reason, and I “lose” my control.
How can my children learn what temperance is if Mommy’s life doesn’t have it!?
When I know that I will be a “single mom” [in no way implying I have any idea what single moms really feel!] for a few days… I get a little stressed. I have grown to rely on my husband as the better half of my brain, the more controlled disciplinarian, the more patient teacher, a part of me/us!
We are a team, and we work well together. {These times also give me a burden to pray more for my single parent friends!}
And while that is wonderful and in God’s design for husband and wife to become knit together like that, I must never loose sight of God’s working and growing my own life as an individual… and that as an individual, I must learn temperance.
I must allow the Spirit to bring control and calm into my life, not my husband.
So, my thoughts took an interesting route to get here, but yesterday {and today! and probably many tomorrows…} I am desiring the Spirit to produce a control in my life that can only come from Him!
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by tascha
A couple of days ago [I wrote about having increase from my “oxen”] I read in Proverbs 14:1, Every wise woman buildeth her house…And today I read a little more about building a house [home].
In Proverbs 24, I read: Through wisdom is an house builded [same as in 14:1]; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
It is reiterated that wisdom is required to build [establish or restore] our homes.
As women we must seek God’s wisdom in establishing anything that has to do with our home: routines, plans, even how we decorate… {I am just saying that God cares! And I love to decorate with or take inspiration from nature…}; and I know the Lord helped me with our current furniture layout [{ 🙂 }-my husband was skeptical until it was all in place].
God cares to be a part of every aspect of our “home-building.”
But understanding is also important to building my home, as today’s verse proceeds. The Lord can give insight and discretion to make decisions about everything. He can help me learn about healthy foods, better organization, scheduling activities… and explaining these things to my children. If I do not understand it, I cannot effectively teach it.
With knowledge the rooms of my home can be filled with precious and pleasant riches. Perception and skill are two words used to describe knowledge here.
I must pay attention [use perception] to what is going on around me… my children’s and husband’s activities. If I am not aware of some things, my house can spin out of control quickly!
I sometimes must use or learn a skill to help me take care of my home-the physical structure AND the people who reside with me. I am so thankful my mother took the time to teach me some basics in sewing and pattern following when I was a teenager. Clothing construction is a skill that the Lord has helped me develop… and it has aided our family and others for many years.
Of course, there are many other skills that women can use to build their home wisely… And I strive to learn something about each of them:cooking, organizing, cleaning, decorating, etc. Today, I am purposing to ask God’s help in learning how to do each of them wisely!
by tascha
Several verses in Proverbs speak of how living in the wilderness or on a rooftop is preferable to living with a contentious or brawling woman… reminded me of a post towards the beginning of the {31 days}.
Just as there is something for me to learn from the “strange woman” there is something I can learn from this woman of contention. And it came up again in today’s chapter.
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. -Proverbs 25:24
and was there a few days ago:
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. -Proverbs 21:19
Contentious people basically look for things to argue about. They are characterized by an argumentative spirit, often creating controversy for the sake of being right. I think I’ve done that before.
Brawling gives the idea of noisy, squabbling, fighting people. I know I’ve squabbled once or twice… Angry… I suppose that doesn’t need an explanation.
And I have a responsibility to teach my own girls [and now a boy, too!] how to allow the Lord to control their spirit and NOT be contentious or brawling or angry! Even as children.
2014
I suppose my best defense against being a woman of contention is to study the Scriptures and find out how to …let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. – I Peter 3:4
Because, while the context of that verse is a Christian woman’s ability to have a powerful witness to an unsaved husband, the principle can hold true for a Christian woman to have a powerful testimony for the worth of her saved husband to her… as well as a witness of God’s place in her life to an unsaved world.
The hidden man… a meek and quiet spirit is an ornament… of great price to God!
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by tascha
Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off. Proverbs 27:10 {edited-from 26:10-I turned to the next chapter too soon. oops}
I used to read this verse as a teenager and then young adult and think…. Why aren’t people more “neighborly” now-days?
There were one or two houses on my street where we knew the people on a “HI, how are you?” basis… and even now, in my neighborhood, we only casually speak to our neighbors. We try to be friendly and have invited them to church and inquired about their salvation, but we have no one we would turn to in a calamity.
And I suppose this verse could be talking about our making friends of those who live near us {we certainly need to make an effort to be kind and get to know those who live around us}; but people just live such separate lives anymore, are often not even home until late in the evening, and don’t really want to go to church on Sundays.
Even when cute little kids invite them.
Then a few years after I had gotten married, journeyed to a strange city, moved into a new house, joined a new church and started to make a life… with this man for-ever-after, I realized it could be talking about something a little differently.
Our life revolves around our church and the activities of it. And I now live very far from any family… even from the church where I grew up.
I cannot go to my brother’s house or any of my family’s houses {even if I wanted to} without nearly a whole day’s travel or more!
My own friend, my neighbor that is near, even my father’s friend {kindred spirits through loving and serving the same God} is my church family.
The Lord has truly blessed our little family with {-[neighbors]-} through the wonderful people who faithfully attend our church. They have encouraged us and been there for us during the years we have been here. A few have become very dear to us, as family.
My heart had a rocky start with being far away from family and the people I knew so well from childhood. I have come to realize I do not handle change well without much help from the Lord.
But now, over 9 year later, I have come to the point where I could not imagine being in any other “family.” They are my neighbor that is near…
That is indeed a blessing!
EDIT: This is a difficult post for me to revisit, as we have since [and not long after this], moved to another church family, in rather sudden & unexpected circumstances… BUT, I am thankful that it has not taken nearly a decade to feel completely loved and welcomed into this new family where God sent us.
Not even 2 years later, we feel knit with a people who have welcomed us with more enthusiasm and grace than I have ever experienced anywhere. And I love them for it!
And the Lord has also given us “family” around the world in the form of friends who have traveled to spread the gospel in other countries…
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by tascha
so, yesterday I read the wrong chapter in Proverbs! Actually, somehow, I read both the correct and the next chapter… at two separate times-{I will often read the chapter several times thorought the day}. I’m still not sure how I did that. [oh well, { 🙂 }] But today, I am going to share from yesterday’s chapter.
He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears. -Proverbs 26:17
When I read this verse, I was reminded of another post I wrote earlier in this 31 days, when I spoke of teaching my children to look to their own paths… and worry about their own actions and not what everyone else is doing.
While we must be aware of those around us, and the Lord Jesus teaches that if we see a person in need, then we are to help as much as in our power to do so [Luke 10; Galatians 6:10; Proverbs 3:27], our focus of each day is to be on living our own life… looking to Jesus through our own “strife.”
An example is this: I have a friend who recently had surgery. I prayed for her in the days leading up to it as well as the day of. I plan to do all I can to be available should she need help during her recovery…. but I cannot live her life for her just because I see suffering.
She has to recover in her own time. I could meddle and cause stress on our friendship {take a dog by the ears}.
I could make a nuisance of myself {meddle in strife belonging not to me}, but I will endeavor not to!
As well, there are often situations around us that we do not get involved with in any way… though we may be able to help, simply because it truly is not our business.
Sometimes I will see what my husband’s thoughts are about offering help; and occasionally we will try to offer aid. Most times we simply pray for whatever is going on, and wait for the Lord to take care of it.
He always does.
Today, we enjoyed a day as a family. We had very little strife… even among the children… maybe because we all had a nap today!
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by tascha
This moment of being still… comes from a quiet heart, a heart of remembering… and pondering what God has for the future.
Life is full of goodbyes… and hellos… and more goodbyes.
“The only comfort in saying goodbye is knowing we are in God’s will.”
~wise words!
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Sometimes there are people who are simply a part of the new life in which you find yourself…. and you have no idea the impact they will have.
You do not meet them and think: “here are the parents of my daughter’s best friend {the daughters neither one of you even have yet!}”…
or “here is a lady who will have some understanding of being a {staff wife} and what that means, inside you”…
or “here is a family who will grow with ours, to the point our stair-step girls are all good friends.”
<<<< our children
<<<< their children
But such was a family we had an official farewell for last evening during and after our church service. He and his wife sang with the choir instead of his leading it, he preached the sermon, and there were many tears all-around.
But with the sadness of goodbye comes the excitement of their following God’s leading to a new chapter. It also reinforces the truth of “until we meet again” being a more apt way to say “goodbye” to a friend in the Lord.
These are a few thoughts from the service last evening:
“The only comfort in saying goodbye is knowing we are in God’s will.”
The Lord gives us various avenues to know His will in our lives. He has given us His Word, Godly counsel, and the Holy Spirit.
While we may fear the unknown of what is ahead, “Fear is only unhealthy if it paralyzes you… Fear should throw us back on God.” [a quote from Jeff Amsbaugh–not exact, as I cannot always write that fast!]
And knowing, finding, searching out the next step… that is personal.
No one can do it for you.
It is a burden we each must carry individually. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13
Life is about Jesus… following Him to finish with joy is what our focus of each day should be.
And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem [another city] , not knowing the things that shall befall me there… But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20:22-24
And the fruit of a life spent… spent all for Him… is a life of fruit that follows us to glory!
And the world passeth away… but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. I John 2:17
“Anything God has done through us He has done in spite of us.”
~Thad Endicott
Words that are true of ALL of us!
Thank you, Endicott family, for your friendship, encouragement, and faithfulness during the years my family has been here. We are praying for you!
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Let’s connect on FACEBOOK!
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by tascha
DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! …and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K. And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort… and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another’s. And those few times I have received praises… they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it… one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.
From Proverbs 29
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]
Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter!
{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}
The fact that I must give correction… I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children…
that is the point.
And these two verses give the basic reasons why:
Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod].
Reproof and correction are not punishment… just a ‘time out’ or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training.
Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.
we must walk this path of life WITH them
As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband… and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.
Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone… the mothers are shamed– often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!].
But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father… those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction.
They will be a delight unto their parent’s souls.
Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]… because they will make comments like: “oh, your children are so well-behaved” {to which I try to reply: “They are God’s gift to me!”}…
or “how do you make them all behave?” {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved…}
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Let’s connect on FACEBOOK!
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I’m also on Instagram!
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by tascha
Wisdom in the little things {day 30}
There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise: The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer; The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks; The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands; The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings’ palaces.
Proverbs 30:24-28
As I was reading this chapter, I was struck by the various grouped lists….[things that are never satisfied] ~ [things that are too wonderful] ~ [things that are disquieting {disquiet is an interesting word}] ~ [things that are wise] ~ [things that go/do well].
These lists have always interested me, and I am not exactly sure why- because I am NOT a “list maker” person. But having a list does help me stay focused in a task…
or more accurately, having a list helps me REMEMBER what task I was doing before I got that glass of juice for my 4 year old. { 🙂 }
So, I purposed to learn something specific from at least one list while reading through it… and this was the one.
Even though these 4 creatures are rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things… the Lord says they are wise.
Of course, God put these instincts into their very nature; but since God calls those instincts wisdom, I am going to take notice!
While I am only one person, and I am not very strong, I can make preparation for what is foreseeable.
The ants know, by that instinct, that they must prepare food for winter.
I know, as a mother, that children grow! I can plan and shop sales accordingly for their clothing. I also know that everyone in my family enjoys eating. every.single.day… and I can prepare meal plans for efficient and frugal shopping, and I can plan simple meals for days I know we will be busy.
So, while we cannot truly know what a day will bring forth, God still wants us to use some foresight and common sense and plan!
Though man can live in a myriad of places, with various structures to call home, I do know that planting my dwelling on a solid [stone] foundation is wise. And beyond my physical house, building my life and the life of my family on the Rock that is Christ… that is the only way we will last. Having that sure foundation is what keeps our family together in tough times. Those conies know what they are doing!
There is strength in numbers. Obviously, there are times the few has a mighty voice… but only because the multitude is failing to speak. Locusts have no leader, yet they know that they must stay together to live.
These little creatures can literally wipe out entire fields of crops. If there were just 10 or 20 of them at a time, the farmer could combat them… but when there are hundreds of thousands at once, they win. They do not argue or compete; they just stick together.
As a believer, I see a principle here that often gets blurred or ignored. We cannot align ourselves with those whose doctrine is clearly opposed to salvation by faith through Christ alone, though there are many who blur that line. But then those who do not blur this line seem to ignore it and are often found attacking each other from within over rather petty issues…. and so we do NOT win. We must “stick together” in Christ to make a difference. [Also, not trying to belittle taking a stand. There is a time and place for that.]
And then, just as a spider simply weaves its web wherever it is, when I realize there is something I can do, and I just DO IT because God asks it of me, I can have a far-reaching influence. I may not actually ever speak to a king, but I have heard of the testimony of a small child reaching far and wide… simply because the opportunity to speak for Christ was seized. Spiders often get a ‘bad rap’-I despise to find them in my house!- yet we can learn to simply keep on. We must weave our web, sometimes over and over, and live our life for Christ in the mundane daily tasks. And then… just as cobwebs overtake an abandoned structure, our Godly influence can influence the next generation. But only if we just do right.
