a few truths

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I have had many thoughts race through my mind about the horrors of last Friday. The tragedy has basically been all some people have talked about.

Ts JULY 2011 100

In my heart, the Lord has simply re-informed several truths that I wish to share:

* Safety truly is of the Lord. Even if mommas and daddies had been at that school, no one can stand in front of a bullet unscathed.  The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the LORD. Proverbs 21:31 {But I am fully amenable to civilians having weapons at their disposal. Gun control, as my Granny says, is using two hands.}

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 untitled shoot-210-2-48*There is sin on every hand. We must be spreading the Gospel, and we must do it with an intensity of purpose. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? Romans 10:14

*Life is precious. ALL life. And if this were truly such a tragedy {which it IS} , then what would you call the millions of babies aborted in the past 50 years? And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.  But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Luke 18:15,16

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*Children are a gift from the Lord. {All children.} And we must love on them and teach and train them and pray and weep over them before the Almighty God. They are His. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. -Psalms 127:3

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 *This very moment of my life is not guaranteed to finish ticking before I breathe my last breath and meet my Savior face to face. What am I doing to be ready for that? Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. -James 4:14

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*There is a time for weeping. Now is that time. There is a grieving process that must be finished. And no two people live this process the same. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance… Ecclesiastes 3:4

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 *But when the grief has subsided {and that may be a longer process than someone outside of the situation thinks necessary…}, the choice must be made between living a broken life or resolving to press on. There are no other options. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect:…but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth … I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 [portions]

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Souls touched by this tragedy must be allowed to grieve. They need to be extended grace for a time of healing.

The rest of us need to be resolved to make each day matter for the Lord’s kingdom and create precious memories with our loved ones!

 

becoming Sarah

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The name Sarai, given as Abram’s wife in Genesis, is often referred to as meaning

“my princess.”

poster, Sarah

But upon further study and digging into the full meaning and its root -outside of the Hebrew, as it is not a Hebrew name-

it seems that Sarai meant “ruler, an official, a commander, etc.”

I can see why some might declare Sarai to simply be another name meaning “princess.” They look and sound similar. A princess is a ruler, of sorts.

But I heard of at least one commentary that identified this name as meaning “a domineering woman.” I found a study online as well as a commentary in my online Bible that indicate the same.

I tend to go with God changing her name for a reason…

and Sarah means “princess or noblewoman.”

How true is the first description of so many women!

To be brutally honest, any woman not completely controlled by God’s Holy Spirit becomes a domineering woman, whether she will admit to it or not.

scoldingThere are plenty of times I thought I was doing OK “on my own” and have looked back… to realize just how “not OK”  I really was. {and I am sure there are more than I can actually remember!}

These times of trying to be Godly in my own strength are futile.

Anything done in my own strength is futile.

And this, my friends, is the crux of the matter… the heart of my problem every day.

This woman was the same physical person after her name change as before. She had the same flesh and blood, the same needs.

What changed in her life was God.

God made a covenant, the promise of a son.

God made her to be Sarah.

She was a controlling wife who became a princess!

 

crowning-princess

being crowned

She could do nothing to merit God’s favor.

Yet He gave it.

He made the covenant.

Only God can take my “Sarai”

and make me “Sarah”

 

I am a living Sarai… often trying to be Sarah on my own.

{You can read of Sarai/Sarah in Genesis chapters 12-49.}

she needed to change [pt2]

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she needed to change [pt2]

{If you missed the first part yesterday, please read it first!}

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We turned several corners during our first years of being married, but there was sometimes a bit of animosity between us. Our problem, unbeknownst to either of us, was that we had yet to become ONE.

We each were doing our best in the marriage, but it was still each of us trying to be what we thought we ought to be.

untitled shoot-294

Several years ago, all of this changed. To me there was no defining moment, but God really began to work on MY heart.

Much of this previous time I would dwell on the other half of the equation, when the real problem was staring at me in the mirror.

God spoke to me saying, “John, quit looking at your wife and all of her flaws, cuz you my son, are NOT all of that either.”

The problem was, I was dwelling on my wife and what SHE needed to change and not on me, myself, and I. WOW!!

It was NOT my wife that was the problem, but my own pride that was the problem.

Thus began the journey of just allowing God to change MY life so I could become what He wanted me to be.

After all, God knows exactly what my wife needs in and from me, and if I allow God to change me, then I am becoming not only what God wants and needs me to be, but what my wife wants and needs me to be as well.

As my wife often says to me, “You are not perfect, John, but you are perfect FOR ME.”

I love my wife for feeling that way about me. She is my gift from God. Amen!

marriage.success

 

{And that, my friends, is how BOTH of us have changed. We have tried to stop focusing on each others’ short-comings and asked the Lord to just mold us to be what we are supposed to be… when we are both doing that, the marriage relationship thrives in ways we simple did not understand before!In no way have we “arrived,” but we truly do have a wonderful relationship, can talk about anything, and enjoy each others’ company more than any one else’s.}

{If you missed the first part yesterday, please read it first!}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We turned several corners during our first years of being married, but there was sometimes a bit of animosity between us. Our problem, unbeknownst to either of us, was that we had yet to become ONE.

We each were doing our best in the marriage, but it was still each of us trying to be what we thought we ought to be.

untitled shoot-294

Several years ago, all of this changed. To me there was no defining moment, but God really began to work on MY heart.

Much of this previous time I would dwell on the other half of the equation, when the real problem was staring at me in the mirror.

God spoke to me saying, “John, quit looking at your wife and all of her flaws, cuz you my son, are NOT all of that either.”

The problem was, I was dwelling on my wife and what SHE needed to change and not on me, myself, and I. WOW!!

It was NOT my wife that was the problem, but my own pride that was the problem.

Thus began the journey of just allowing God to change MY life so I could become what He wanted me to be.

After all, God knows exactly what my wife needs in and from me, and if I allow God to change me, then I am becoming not only what God wants and needs me to be, but what my wife wants and needs me to be as well.

As my wife often says to me, “You are not perfect, John, but you are perfect FOR ME.”

I love my wife for feeling that way about me. She is my gift from God. Amen!

marriage.success

 

{And that, my friends, is how BOTH of us have changed. We have tried to stop focusing on each others’ short-comings and asked the Lord to just mold us to be what we are supposed to be… when we are both doing that, the marriage relationship thrives in ways we simple did not understand before!In no way have we “arrived,” but we truly do have a wonderful relationship, can talk about anything, and enjoy each others’ company more than any one else’s.}

d31fb     d31insta      d31twi

she needed to change [pt1]

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she needed to change [pt1]

This is a guest post from my hubby…. about “us”… and needing change.

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Almost 12 years ago, I asked this girl I knew to go to a Valentine’s Banquet with me.

us

I was so nervous when I asked her, but I knew it was the right thing to do. It was a Godly decision. Little did I know how much that would change my life.

The Valentine’s Banquet was a very fun time even though, once again, I was so nervous I almost puked.

Almost 6 months after that day, we were engaged to be married. I knew this was the woman that God would have me marry.

Although I am sure she had flaws at this point in her life, I looked beyond them and saw what God wanted me to see in her. I am sure she would say the same thing about me as well.

Ten months after we were engaged was our wedding day. Most of our engagement period we were separated from each other by quite a distance. I used to love to speak to her on the phone and get to know her more and more as THE day approached. I was very busy with work, finishing up college, and the ministry I was involved in.

Most days seemed to fly by, and I could feel the bond with the one I loved grow stronger and stronger. What a truly wonderful feeling that was.

In June of ’03 we were finally reunited and married. What a wonderful day that was. I still remember much of that day as if it were yesterday. Seven PM finally arrived, and we were married. We zoomed away in our vehicle to start our life together.

The next day we left for our 1 week honeymoon, and although the actually honeymoon lasted only one week, this honeymoon period lasted for several months. Truly this woman was special, a joy to be around, and a gift of God.

Then guess what? As we lived together day by day, and even worked together each day, my angel I had married began to have flaws I had never really seen before. This “perfect woman” I had found was changing right before my eyes. I knew I could not go back and get a refund, but what was I to do?kiss

I struggled with this for a while. Not that I wanted to divorce, but how could I get through to her to make her see she had “changed.” During this time I reminded myself that she was after all 7 years younger than I, thus 7 years less mature. I tried to remember back to when I was that age and tried to see things through HER eyes.

To make matters worse, she was expecting also. Her hormones were, well, just going crazy; and morning sickness was really getting the best of her. A few times, I will be honest, I just wanted to tell her to “suck it up” and “get on with life.” But I bit my tongue and just “endured the hardship” God had given me.

I would read in my Bible about how a Christian should act and then see how my wife was not measuring up to this. I looked at her at times and just prayed to God, “please God, change her.”

 

{come back tomorrow to see just how God DID change me}

{part 2}

 

This is a guest post from my hubby…. about “us”… and needing change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost 12 years ago, I asked this girl I knew to go to a Valentine’s Banquet with me.

us

I was so nervous when I asked her, but I knew it was the right thing to do. It was a Godly decision. Little did I know how much that would change my life.

The Valentine’s Banquet was a very fun time even though, once again, I was so nervous I almost puked.

Almost 6 months after that day, we were engaged to be married. I knew this was the woman that God would have me marry.

Although I am sure she had flaws at this point in her life, I looked beyond them and saw what God wanted me to see in her. I am sure she would say the same thing about me as well.

Ten months after we were engaged was our wedding day. Most of our engagement period we were separated from each other by quite a distance. I used to love to speak to her on the phone and get to know her more and more as THE day approached. I was very busy with work, finishing up college, and the ministry I was involved in.

Most days seemed to fly by, and I could feel the bond with the one I loved grow stronger and stronger. What a truly wonderful feeling that was.

In June of ’03 we were finally reunited and married. What a wonderful day that was. I still remember much of that day as if it were yesterday. Seven PM finally arrived, and we were married. We zoomed away in our vehicle to start our life together.

The next day we left for our 1 week honeymoon, and although the actually honeymoon lasted only one week, this honeymoon period lasted for several months. Truly this woman was special, a joy to be around, and a gift of God.

Then guess what? As we lived together day by day, and even worked together each day, my angel I had married began to have flaws I had never really seen before. This “perfect woman” I had found was changing right before my eyes. I knew I could not go back and get a refund, but what was I to do?kiss

I struggled with this for a while. Not that I wanted to divorce, but how could I get through to her to make her see she had “changed.” During this time I reminded myself that she was after all 7 years younger than I, thus 7 years less mature. I tried to remember back to when I was that age and tried to see things through HER eyes.

To make matters worse, she was expecting also. Her hormones were, well, just going crazy; and morning sickness was really getting the best of her. A few times, I will be honest, I just wanted to tell her to “suck it up” and “get on with life.” But I bit my tongue and just “endured the hardship” God had given me.

I would read in my Bible about how a Christian should act and then see how my wife was not measuring up to this. I looked at her at times and just prayed to God, “please God, change her.”

 

{come back tomorrow to see just how God DID change me}

{part 2}

 

d31fb     d31insta      d31twi

an element of wise choices: reasoning consequences

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When we take a time out and teach our children about something specific that is wrong, do we give them the whole picture?

I do not necessarily mean when they are very small, and we are simply training obedience; but when they are taller, older, more able to reason out a situation. Say, maybe when they are 4 or 5 years old {some may be younger, others older… just a general age here}.

I know that my 8 year old is able to rationalize things she wants to have or do. She understands consequences, even if she does not always think them through: It might be fun to run across the parking lot, but if you are not looking for cars… they might not be looking for you either.

kids

My 5 year old understands actions and consequences fairly well: I should not wave that stick around in the house because I might hit someone or break something…

My 4 year old is learning. And if you can keep her from melting down too quickly {working on that, too!}, she can be reasoned with. She understands when it is explained: No, you cannot sit on your baby brother even if all you want to to is hug him because he will then scream at you and pull your hair, and you do not like that. {seriously, that is how she “loves” on him.}

I cannot tell my girls that doing those things are not fun to make them not do them.

Because they ARE fun.

Some things are not necessarily wrong. But when the are done in a wrong way or time or place, they become sin.

And sin is often “fun.” 

Racing a friend to your class across the parking lot IS fun. And running is not bad. Twirling around the house with your princess wand… that’s FUN. Trying to love your baby brother, that is so sweet! It’s a good thing, right?

But I am failing them if I do not teach them to reason out and think through the whole situation.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

Now, I am not saying that each of these specific scenarios will result in death if my child chooses to do it; but they each CAN result in hurt.

And it is part of my responsibility as Momma to teach them that while sin, even  thoughtless behavior, can be fun, we must consider any possible consequences before choosing to partake.

And which consequence is worse: having fun while racing in a parking lot and risking being hit by a car [which is WHY Mommy asks you not to do so] OR possibly being called a name for choosing to walk calmly and with a bit of decorum.

Choosing rather to suffer affliction [being called names or mocked? that is painful for any person] with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season [that exhilaration of racing… it’s fun!]; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt [God will reward your doing right]: for he had respect unto the recompence [looked at the possible consequences and chose the eternal reward of doing right over the singular pleasure of doing wrong]  of the reward. Hebrews11:25, 26

While I expect unquestioning obedience [though I have not always taught it consistently], after they have obeyed I sometimes talk to them about possible consequences if they had chosen to disobey.

And on the flip-side, when they choose to disobey and are facing those consequences, I speak to them about the reward they forfeited to have that little pleasure.

…Each child is different.

There is not formula or cut & dry system to this.They understand different illustrations and often require different amounts and types of correction.

But every child must be taught how to reason, how to determine if a seemingly inconsequential action or activity does, indeed, have consequences, what those might be, and understand the personal responsibility of deciding if the momentary “pleasures” are worth it.

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practically perfect in every way

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poppinsilhouetteI can see how some visitors may not like me “endorsing” a movie. There really are very few worth watching out there. And even this one causes some reservations as my children ask if she is real or if it all pretend-every.time.we.watch.it. And then there is the whole suffrage movement.

But I so enjoy the character of Mary Poppins. My children also love her. Personally, I wish she were real; [smiles] and I wish I were just like her {snapping my fingers to clean up the toys?!}.

Of course, perfection and tea parties on the ceiling and popping into chalk pictures are just fairy-tales  -beautiful whimsy and imagination.

But there are a few things we can learn from her approach to children and life. 

1. children’s wants and desires are not to be dismissed out of hand just because they are children. 

2. children need and WANT their father’s [and mother’s!] time and affection.

several years ago!

several years ago!

3. children need play in equal proportion to learning, and sometimes the two go hand-in-hand.

4. while the occasional babysitter is necessary for the survival of a marriage, children do not need a nanny. They need their parents, specifically-time with their parents! [and I won’t go any further than that!].

And while I will never be a Mary Poppins, I can take these lessons and apply them to my responsibility as a mother. 


I must be intentional about taking time to listen to my children-their concerns, their stories, the reason for their squabbles, the way others treat them, what their dreams are, etc.

I must take the initiative to be sure each child has time with me regularly. In a loving manner, I must nurture time with their daddy. 

Even amid chores and the eventual homework that comes with growing up, I must take the time to remember they are still children. If home and school become only about work, they may come to resent being in either place. Life is full of adventure. And sometimes I need to remind myself of that! 


As often as our personal schedules allow, I should make arrangements for the children to be cared for by someone else for a brief time so as to foster a loving relationship between myself and my husband. Because whether I like it or not, our marriage will be the one they most likely model their own marriages after one day. I need to be sure I am seeking the Lord in being an example of a loving, Godly wife {no matter my faults as a housekeeper-lol}.
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