a price above rubies | Designing 31

the heart of her husband {1}

by tascha

the heart of her husband {1}

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…

Proverbs 31:11a.

Safely trust means to be secure or have confidence in.

This one thought is the crux of her virtue and can only be achieved through daily diligence.

All the days of her married life,

her husband’s heart is safe in her hands.

yellow daisy2

There is so much that could be said here. Indeed, I have read several books on this subject.

But I will suffice it to say that if I, as a wife, must follow the instruction in Titus 2:

be sober [in control of my senses]

love my husband [be his friend, lover, confidant]

love our children [be affectionate and nurturing]

be discreet [in control of my desires]

be chaste [modest in all things: mind and body. other descriptive words: demure, undefiled, ladylike]

be a keeper at home [having a guarding spirit: guarding your home from worldliness- both for the sake of your children’s minds and for your husband’s reputation. also, the physical well being of those in your home: cooking, cleaning, creating a place of warmth]

be good [useful and pleasant to be around]

be obedient to my husband [this is my God-given RIGHT to be UNDER my husband’s authority]

that the word of God be not blasphemed.

[I would be terrified to know that the way I lived my role as a wife/mother caused someone to speak reproach on Christ].

Titus 2:4,5

then my husband’s heart can be safe in my care.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…

Proverbs 31:11a.

Safely trust means to be secure or have confidence in.

This one thought is the crux of her virtue and can only be achieved through daily diligence.

All the days of her married life,

her husband’s heart is safe in her hands.

yellow daisy2

There is so much that could be said here. Indeed, I have read several books on this subject.

But I will suffice it to say that if I, as a wife, must follow the instruction in Titus 2:

be sober [in control of my senses]

love my husband [be his friend, lover, confidant]

love our children [be affectionate and nurturing]

be discreet [in control of my desires]

be chaste [modest in all things: mind and body. other descriptive words: demure, undefiled, ladylike]

be good [useful and pleasant to be around]

be obedient to my husband [this is my God-given RIGHT to be UNDER my husband’s authority]

that the word of God be not blasphemed.

[I would be terrified to know that the way I lived my role as a wife/mother caused someone to speak reproach on Christ].

Titus 2:4,5

then my husband’s heart can be safe in my care.

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no need of spoil {2}

by tascha

no need of spoil {2}

…so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Proverbs 31:11b

The term spoil usually carries a negative connotation. There are many ways to describe it, but I love concise definitions. Spoil: an excessive gain at the expense of another [most commonly used in reference to war].

If his heart is safely trusting in me then he can be content with the life we have -and not ‘need spoil’ from ‘out there’–wherever that is. Now, I realize that his contentment truly lies in his own relationship with the Lord, but much of how a man views his life rests in his wife. The more I am the wife God wants me to be – the woman He created me to be – the more my husband can be the man God created him to be.

…so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Proverbs 31:11b

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good and not evil {3}

by tascha

good and not evil {3}

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12

Here we see the phrase all the days of her life.

It is implied in verse 11 that this is a continual, diligent process: my husband’s heart resting safely in me [I am overwhelmed every time I think of that]. But here we truly see that the heart issue is the part that is my lifelong task.

Oh, my heart- so full of wickedness that I am full of conviction as I type this.

This virtue of my husband’s heart being able to trust in me IS doing my husband GOOD.

And I must strive for this all the days of my life!

If I act or speak in any way that causes my husband’s heart to loose trust-no matter the ‘minuteness’ of it-this is evil towards him. This is what I must not do. I must guard my own heart against it.

While I know that I will continue to fail {we are all sinners}, I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every. single. day.

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed,

because his compassions fail not.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore have I hope.

They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

And I rejoice that my husband strives to be the man of God for me-which means he forgives me. And then together we have another opportunity to get it right.

Only you, dear reader, can know what this good and evil will look like in your own marriage. But my prayer today is that we will seek God’s face and strength for this monumental daily opportunity.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:12

Here we see the phrase all the days of her life.

Oh, my heart- so full of wickedness that I am full of conviction as I type this.

This virtue of my husband’s heart being able to trust in me IS doing my husband GOOD.

And I must strive for this all the days of my life!

While I know that I will continue to fail {we are all sinners}, I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every. single. day.

It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed,

because his compassions fail not.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore have I hope.

They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

And I rejoice that my husband strives to be the man of God for me-which means he forgives me. And then together we have another opportunity to get it right.

Only you, dear reader, can know what this good and evil will look like in your own marriage. But my prayer today is that we will seek God’s face and strength for this monumental daily opportunity.

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working willingly {4}

by tascha

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Proverbs 31:13

The main emphasis of this verse is the this lady works WILLINGLY with her hands.

This thought encompasses many of the following verses and is the heart issue of them.

Though we will look at her specific tasks, the BIG issue is that she is willing to do what needs to be done during the different seasons of her family’s life.

Seeking wool and flax implies that she either gathers the raw materials to create fabric, or she acquired the fabrics needed to make clothing for her household. Linen comes from flax and was used for various undergarments, inner tunics, and lamp wicks. Flax seeds can also be ground and used in breads or can be eaten whole and are very nutritional [another topic]. Wool was used more for outer tunics which could also be used as a blanket on a cool night.

In thinking of these uses of flax and wool {and there are more!} we can see different responsibilities that this implies.

As a wife and mother it is my responsibility to

…clothe my family.

Whether I buy fabric and sew or purchase ready-made items, finding durable, modest, attractive clothing for my husband, myself, and our children is within my realm of duty. [This is not to say that my husband and said children have no say in their clothing!] Being frugal and finding deals, thrift shopping, and handing clothing down [or accepting second-hand clothing] all fit into this category.

…feed my family healthy foods.

[I am not legally qualified to speak of nutrition or recommend certain foods over others, but there are many resources online for studying it, and I have friends whose study I trust when they recommend certain plants for consumption.] You must rely on your own research for this.

Personally, I do try to have fresh fruits and veggies available for snacks, but more often find that frozen or canned are more in my price range, and simple cooking methods can elevate even canned peaches to a scrumptious dessert [with no added sugar!].

I use flax seed in my bread, and there are many other grains/seeds that can be added to flour to make bread more wholesome. Again, your own study must guide you in that.

…cover my family when it is cold and provide a light source when necessary.

Do we have enough blankets for the colder days? Is there an adequate light source to finish tasks or read a good book when the sun has gone to bed early?

[There are many other areas that could be discussed, but many of those are brought out in the next few verses and will be left to their own post.]

While it is truly {thankfully} not necessary that I herd sheep and grow/harvest flax to accomplish these tasks, it IS necessary that my heart is right in order that these tasks bring glory to God and cause my husband’s heart to safely trust in me.

Seeking his counsel and knowing his preference in any of these areas {I like his input on my own clothing as well as my children’s. To know what he likes and to try to accomplish that is doing GOOD to him.} is just another way of loving him.

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acquiring food {5}

by tascha

She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

Proverbs 31:14

As a straightforward interpretation, this verse means exactly what it sounds like. This woman will find her food any place she needs to go to find it. She travels around, trades and seeks foods for her family.

The best modern resource that I can equate this with [personally. –I would love to hear more/other opinions from you!] for a ‘modern woman’ is couponing and/or shopping sales for as much of your food as possible.

{I am not saying that you HAVE to use a coupon or sale for all your shopping, BUT I do believe that planning meals around foods that can be gotten on sale that week is prudent.}

And if you have the time to get/cut coupons and match them to sales, YEAH! for you. I have some friends who do this very well. Sadly, I am not one of them.

Because, I must also tie into this endeavor that I must still do good to my husband.

It may seem contradictory to say this, but if your husband tells you that he does not want you taking your time to devote to coupons and sales adds, then don’t.

To bare my soul, couponing is frustrating for me {[I know, really?]} so, I do not use coupons often. I do not acquire or study sales adds. But I also do not buy many ready-made items for my family to consume.

I make things. I use the time I would be frustrating over coupons to make the foods from scratch that I would maybe, possibly, use a coupon for.

I also try to buy extra things when they ARE on sale, provided we have the space to store them properly until we need them. I buy dried beans, instead of canned. I cook and then freeze sale meats for future use. I cut and freeze certain produce, when I know it’s going to be used in soup instead of used fresh. I make spaghetti sauce, etc.

So. for you, for me: remember this is a heart issue:

Am I using my time and our money wisely when acquiring food for my family?

And do my pursuits in this continue to do my husband good?

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