my split personality: called {motherhood}
This is not exactly a “spiritually or Biblically-inspired” post.
It is more a “I wonder if anyone else has ever thought about it this way” post.
And it’s been sitting in my “draft” folder for a while now…
I had a conversation with a sweet new friend last night that prompted me to truly articulate this thought I’ve had for a while now:
Somedays, I truly feel as though motherhood may have given me a split personality {and I am not trying to belittle those with actual mental disabilities here!}.
I realize my children need ME.
But they need ME differently among them. They are each so individual and unique. Yes, I must be consistent in rules and discipline; but things they need, things they forget and need me to remind them of, things they have not yet learned, are ALL different for each one.
My poor oldest child, she is nearly a young woman, and yet I continue to remind her of things that, really, only her younger sisters need help with. I know that frustrates her. She’s so grown up and the others are still “babes”.
My middle daughter has some food and environmental allergies that sometimes means our whole family just misses out on stuff like… peanut-butter pie… because I just can’t chance it being around and her wanting a taste or being sad that she can’t have it. And she’s trying to grow up as quickly as her big sister, but she really isn’t there yet.
My third… a whirlwind of a girl. She plunges head-long into EVERYTHING she does. She has gusto! 🙂 And thinks very little, if ever, before acting. But her little heart is so tender and pliable, I must be restrained when calling a warning at her to not sit on her brother, or some other situation that could cause harm to one or multiple people. lol. She will just loose it, and the whole situation will disintegrate before our eyes.
My youngest is a boy. After 3 girls we have a boy. ‘Nuff said.
To those with more children, I am not trying to ‘prove’ my life is as hard or harder than yours… just stating some observations. 🙂
And then, my husband needs a WIFE, not a mother {he already has an awesome mother!}. And apart from “child of God”-which is my identity at its core- this is where I find my primary role in life – to be the best wife for him. If I’m an awesome mom and a lousy wife, I’ve not become what God created me to be!
And I do have a few friends… who like to speak to me as adult in my own right, not as a mother or a wife….
And so, maybe this is a little bit to be encouraging spiritually
… I need God! You need God! 🙂
If God does not help us in relating to all the most important people in our lives, we are a people most undone!
If I cannot be Christlike to my own family, how can I expect those outside my family to see Christ in me?
I’m not saying I loose it every day, but there is at least a portion of most days where I struggle really hard not to! And there have even been a few hours all strung together that I feel I {MIGHT} have it all together–HAHAHAHA. nope. not really!
And only bending my knee before His throne will help me be “ME”–a child of God–to those around me, whether I feel SPLIT or not. 🙂
some things {motherhood} has taught me
some things {motherhood} has taught me Just some random, not necessarily earth-shattering, thoughts from my 10 years being “Mom”… 1. “little people” are not “small adults”–their minds are truly a blank canvas and must be...a mother’s law {day 1}
My son, hear the instruction of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother:
For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head,
and chains about thy neck.
Proverbs 1:8, 9
cute?
When I read these verses this morning, I was struck by them from a different angle than I have been in the past.
Normally, I think:
these are for me as a child–I should not forsake the spiritual upbringing my parents gave me. I think of children in general, even my own children, and how they need to learn to listen and obey-and I must teach them this.
oh MY!
But this morning, I noticed the words the law of thy mother
-not that children should listen and obey but what they should listen to and obey.
As the “mother” here, what is my law?
Law means regulations, standards, rules, guidelines, doctrine.
And my law as mother should line up with God’s Word in principles and doctrine.
My law should be the same as Jesus command in Matthew 22:36-40: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I’m also on Instagram!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
and I’m on Twitter!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Many of my 31 days will probably come from the Proverb for the day because I decided that this month I wanted to get back into the habit of reading a Proverb-a-day. But we also have special services this month in our church… and the Lord often speaks to me through situations that arise with my children!
on being woman
on being woman Since today…. is apparently International Woman’s Day, I just want to say that I am BLESSED to be a woman. #woman I am blessed to have been created to HELP COMPLETE a man God chose for me, and be called WIFE, because only a WOMAN can be a...capable
capable I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me Philippians 4:13 This is such a familiar verse to many of us, but do we truly live this truth? This capability is not in thinking we can do things like jump off a building and fly or some other crazy...excellest! {20}
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Proverbs 31: 29
When I read this verse, my initial thought is that at this praise culminates her life. In the next verse we will see the woman that is praised first fears the Lord.
The writer [we know is God, but through Solomon, here praising the woman his mother taught him to seek out] says that many woman strive for this and do virtuously: have strength and honor and valor in their daily life; but he felt his mother excelled above them all! I would venture to say that this is Solomon calling his mother blessed, as the previous verse speaks. Do you remember who his mother was? This just reminds us that, while others may define us by a single act in sin, God can see the goodness of His Son wiping our blotted record away.
This is not to say we cannot excell because “this” woman excelled above all!
This is to encourage us to continue pressing on so that our own family will see God’s love in our life and know that any goodness is from HIM working in us… as He will in them.
wisdom & kindness {17}
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31: 26
Again we are looking at heart issues.
This is also literally about how she has learned to communicate with those around her.
This becoming like the Proverbs 31 woman includes more than just our chores and financial transactions. It encompasses even our speech.
Wisdom. How do I have wisdom come out of my mouth? It must be in my heart:
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee.
I must listen to the commandments of God. I must take heed to the counsel of those I know study and obey Scripture. Wisdom is THE PRINCIPAL THING.
In Job we read: With the ancient is wisdom; and in length of days understanding. With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding. It goes on to describe things only God can do… We can have wisdom from time with God. Ancient and length of days seems to imply MUCH time is needed. But what if we are young? …new wives and mothers without much experience? This is when we seek the counsel of aged women….
In Titus 2 we read: The aged women likewise… teachers of good things… That they may teach the young women…
The likewise refers to the description of Godly men in the previous verse. I encourage you to read and study that out!
The Law of Kindness: Kindness is defined as goodness and mercy.
My tongue should speak goodness and mercy. As I typed that, Psalm 23 jumped into my head: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life… This comes at the end of proclaiming God to be my leader, my strength, my courage, my comfort. Then goodness and mercy will be with me, and I CAN speak them.
I am encouraged by this thought… speaking wisdom and kindness comes from time with God and those who’ve known Him longer than us. And it is a LEARNED behavior, not an innate quality. We can ALL learn, but we must be open to the change in our heart.